…And that’s why you don’t take your 3.5 year old for a last minute haircut.
…picture to come..
Last Thursday my parents were meeting me and the 3 kids in Glens Falls so we could do a quick lunch and they could take Quinn to their house for the weekend. Yea, they’re awesome like that, I know I’m blessed (read my previous post regarding going home my own self).
Anywho, Quinn was looooooooong overdue for his summer buzz cut. We do this because he has ridiculously thick and heavy hair (exactly like both of his parents) and you can almost see heat radiating from his head. I called my normal hair place (Contemporary Images- which ROCKS) and they didn’t have any spots that morning. I contemplated sending him to his BeeDee and YeYe’s house all scruffy, but when another hair place in town said they had an immediate opening, I immediately brought Quinn in.
Problem 1. Not giving Quinn enough notice. With most toddlers, but especially Quinn, great notice must be given when going to do something new or out of the ordinary. Such preparation usually puts off tantrums. Usually. We had little time for notice on this day.
Problem 2. Going somewhere new. This was a problem for both of us. Quinn has had his hair cut before, but not at this place- and I hadn’t ever been there either. The place was kind of loud and cluttered and she told Quinn he could have a lollipop when he was done.
Problem 3. I didn’t bring a lollipop with me for him.
Problem 4. I didn’t tell the lady to shove it and give him one anyway.
Problem 5. He wanted to sit on my lap but didn’t want to wear an apron and the lady was all anal about him getting covered with hair. I almost screamed “JUST CUT THE FUC*ING KIDS HAIR, I’LL VACUUM HIM OFF!” I told her I didn’t care 900 times, then she calmed down- but I needed a Xanax.
Problem 6. He was figety and she clearly didn’t cut kids’ hair as often as she may have thought she did.
Problem 7. I didn’t tell her to give him a lollipop…..again
Problem 8. The Coup d’état. She finished the back and sides of his head and moved to the top, changing the guard on the clippers. She put the clippers down on his head. AT. WHICH. POINT. the guard FELL TO THE FUC*ING FLOOR and left a nearly BALD spot on the top of his head…a roughly 2.5 inch square.
She instinctively said “oh, he jumped!” forgetting that he was sitting on my lap and he, certainly, did not jump. He moved, but not enough to knock the guard off….And, if he had jumped, he wouldn’t have a bald spot the size of a frog.
I took a deep breath and told her to finish normal and we’d deal with the bald spot later. I did not, in fact, lose my shit on her because, what would that do? The hair. was. gone. She felt horrible, insisting it would fill in in a week or two (we’re on week 1 and there’s almost a shadow).
She said she wasn’t going to charge me and I wanted to say “damn straight, you should PAY ME!” but I said “thank you, it’s ok, it’s ok….” maybe I was trying to convince myself it was ok?
Either way it’s over. And I doubt I’ll go back.
Lessons to take away from this ill-fated mission?
1. Notice, notice notice.
2. In the absence of notice: lollipops, lollipops, lollipops
3. In the absence of both of these? Reschedule.