I hate tunnels. Whether they’re through a mountain, under water (the absolute worst), or  the figurative lesson-learning kind–I hate them. They’re scary and suffocating. I spend time equally between keeping my head down and eyes squeezed shut, and craning my neck looking for signs of life and breathable air at the other end.

Charles and I are here at the Lovely Ladies book signing in Atlantic City. So far it’s a blast. I always enjoy signings because deep down inside I AM a people-person, but I always forget how soul-refreshing it is. I did use the word “soul” … again.

I get to be with my people. Book people. Readers, bloggers, and other weird-ass writers who, no matter the genre they write in, understand that sometimes we all  stare a little too long at strangers, casually working them into stories in our minds.

This refreshes me. It’s a tried-and-true morale boost. When hope seems lost–and yes I mean to be this dramatic–lovely women walk up to me and cheer about In The Stillness, Ember Harris, and I nearly sell out of all the paperbacks I brought of the Jesus Freaks series. And it’s not even about the sales. It’s about knowing people are still being touched by my words. That they still matter. That someone is reading and digesting them–applying them to their daily lives in one way or another.

It all serves to remind me that while I don’t have a ton of time to write right now, that storm cloud will pass. That my twins are starting Kindergarten in the fall which will incidentally leave huge holes in my daily schedule. That I have twelve-TWELVE-books available for people to read while I get around to completing thirteen. Huh, I didn’t really put together that this was book 13. If I believed in superstitions at all, that would certainly explain the stop-and-go-ness of Jesus Freaks 3. Anyway, it reminds me that I’m allowed to take this summer to spend with my last babies and help us all transition to a house that will have four children in school. I’m allowed to take this summer to strengthen my backbone as a mother because nothing is scarier or more trying then sending them into the world. I’m allowed to take this summer to begin planning my wedding to the absolute most wonderful man I’ve ever known.

I’m also allowed to write, when I can. To help people reach their health and fitness goals through BeachBody. To help my local homeless population.

To be me.

All of this clarity washed over me as I sat and watched wonderful people smile over my books. My words. People who ask me and Charles questions about our upcoming wedding, writing together, and how life is.

Everything will be fine. It will happen how and when it’s supposed to. It doesn’t matter that today I’ve sold more paperback copies of Jesus Freaks: Sins of the Father than I have in e-copies over the last two months. What matters is the emails and private messages that people send me when they’ve read those or any of my other books. Telling me how it’s touched them, made them see things slightly differently–even if they disagree with them.

I’ve got my words. I’ve got the loves of my life. And I’ve got all of you.

xo

andrea

Photo Credit: helenars